I planned a novel for this past April's Camp NaNoWriMo. For Camp NaNo, you choose your project (editing, novel, screenplay, etc.) and your word count. I didn't think I was being unreasonable when I set a goal for 30,000 words, especially considering November's NaNoWriMo is set at 50,000 words and I've managed that before.
It was such a struggle. I found myself completely unable to write anything from the notes I had plotted out. My characters wouldn't work with me, everything I typed sounded forced and terrible, and I had zero drive. So I won April's NaNo by writing personal entries and fan fiction using one of my friend's characters in her book combined with original characters of my own (created for the fan fiction world).
Since then, I've hardly written anything at all. It's like something has sucked all motivation and ideas out of me. I'll have flashes of scenes, but I can't do anything with them. I pull up a word document, stare at it for a few minutes, and then exit out because my head hurts and my heart's growing heavy with discouragement. I don't know what's happened to me. I don't know where this has come from. I've had bad cases of writer's block before, but this feels like it's never going to end.
We have a second Camp NaNo in July, and I'm terrified how I'm going to manage participating in it and it's still a couple months away. I keep telling myself that I'll fight my way through this, but with everything else going on in my life, that seems so exhausting.
Today I'm going to try and stir things up. Maybe I can find a character's voice that really sticks out to me, and maybe, just maybe, they'll tell me their story while they're at it.
