Sometimes you realize that you deserve better; you should be treated better, you should allow yourself to have better, you are better than this.
When that happens, it's okay to break up with yourself.
Because sometimes the bad relationship is the one you have with you. You wake up one day, or maybe you've been waking up several days in a row, and you're not quite happy with you. Or you get ready for bed at night, and you evaluate yourself throughout the day, and you're unsatisfied. Disappointed. Hurt. Angry. Irritated. Discouraged.
I know people preach self-love. ABSOLUTELY love yourself! But that also includes loving yourself to the point that you know when you're being unfair to YOU.
It's okay to not like parts of you. It's okay to be upset that you've chosen to be a negative person. It's okay to dislike the fact you gossip at first signs of a juicy story. It's okay if you hate that you use bad language too often (not necessarily swearing), that you spent most the day whining, that you feel like you were a better person a few years ago, that you're angry too often, that you have no goals, that your life is passing you by and you're hardly making anything of it, that you're not as good of a friend as you'd like to be, etc.
You can take a look at the negative parts (and I mean the parts that you can do something about, the parts that you can change for the better) and say, "You know? I don't like this. So... Bye!"
The difference between a self-breakup and breaking up with a significant other is that there's not really an option to find someone else outside yourself. You can't ditch this body and dive into another one. You can't change your identity at the drop of the hat. But the self-breakup involves recognizing that you deserve better and then going forth and creating better.
It requires being introspective and also being active in making a change.
The self-breakup is hard. That part you want to never see again tends to pop back up. Nothing is clingier than a version of you that you've been with for so long, it's almost like putting on a pair of well-worn jeans. In the beginning, you probably won't even realize you've slipped back into the comfort of it unless you go back and review what just happened.
Don't be discouraged. You've lived how many years, and you've never been the exact same during any of it. Changes happen all the time. So if you're consciously trying to make a change that you want, and you're working at it every day, you will be different. The only time you won't see a difference is if you give up and settle for the version of you that you don't want.
Love yourself. And recognize that some of the best treatment you'll have should come from you. Don't settle for less because you've convinced yourself you can never be better, that you deserve all the unhappiness that comes from whatever bad decisions you think you're making. You are the designer of your character. Outside of the physical parts, you are your own creator. You are the only thing you can control. How exciting. So...
Who will you create?
No comments:
Post a Comment